I have been trying to finish something, and wanting something so dearly. Through my waiting, of course I had encountered so many things that made it seem so impossible to be mine. So I tried to do things my own ways thinking it was the best efforts, while doing that I realise it wasnt the best choice to do so, it get worsen. I tried to be as calm as I can, and I remembered my friend once said to me:
" if it is yours, it will be yours, its written for you. Just wait, be patience, patience it self is the real test here."
Yes, everyone say they can be patience, they can wait. But how you really wait and be patience, will determine everything. You cant force things, just be patience beautifully. And that is what I did, I put everything in His hands, get closer to Him, cuba didik hati jika bukan jalan ku bukan rezeki ku, moga hati aku redha dan terima sebaik2 nya. I still learning to accept things, to really putting everything in Him, cuz, ya Allah, I have always always said this to my self, u do everything, dapat tak dapat, buat sampai dapat, yes i believe in by doing and giving all out, was the effort that He want to see. But one day, everything went so chaotic. As I am so sure I would get it, Allah has shown me, I am wrong. I get so upset till one point I questioned Him, why cant I get that, I have done my best, I have done everything, why it be like that, why me, why after all I go through, why it has to be now. How can I get through it, I was depressed, I was embarrassed, I felt that He has turned His back from me. Thou, thru my questions, I found answers. Answers that keep me believe in Rizq. In everything. So that sister above said it all in my mind that I couldnt said before. Yang baik2 datang nya dari Allah, yang buruk itu hanya kita yang dangkal.