i am reaching to a point where suddenly i stopped thinking bout what im going to do in my life
i really stop and do nothing
i stopped going to my lab and finish my work
didn't send my samples characterization
and i still haven't finish my grant application which was asked from my sv for 2 month now
actually i had finished it, just i didn't send it yet to him
it started when writing the lit review for the proposal, which he asked me to focused on my catalyst support
knowing it only 2-4 journal on it, and quite far from my topic, really made me down.
results are terrible..
way far off track, even my fyp's students results shows the same (note* they just rerun my samples again). while my partners, show otherwise, her results and her fyp's student result using another support was awesome. just move on and finish characterize, and now she is in writing thesis phase, just finished her final progress seminar.
ive been avoiding my lab mate and sometime come to the lab during the weekend and in the afternoon where lesser people n my lab (almost 30 person in one time, i cant handle the noise)
due to this depressions, i skipped 2 3 classes, which now im regretting it since i cant drop out from the class, passed the date to drop out. and my demo's salary was still on hold, what i can think right now is to deffer my studies, losing my mind over here...


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